Cool Meanings - 2

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually
look forward to the trip.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Etc:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway “See I am
not injured yet”.

Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the
first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

HEIGHTsss

Height of Secrecy….. Offering blank visiting cards

Height of Activelaziness … Asking for a lift home while on a morning walk

Height of Laziness …. Adopting a child

Height of Craziness …. Getting a blank paper photocopied

Height of Forgetfulness ….Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last

Height of Stupidity …. Peeping through the keyhole of a glass door

Height of Honesty … A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket

Height of Suicide … A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road

Height of De-hydration … A cow giving milk powder

Cool Meanings - 1

Cigarette:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at
the other.

Love affairs:
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular
than a five-day test.

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains her master

Divorce:
Future tense of marriage

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to
the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he
got the biggest piece.

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by
feminine waterpower.

Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees
later on.

Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never
felt before.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Fundamental Laws Of The Universe

Law of Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Bath theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law Of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose begins to itch.

Law of Queue:
If you change queues, the one you left will start to move faster
than the one you are in now.

Law of Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Theatre Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle - arrive last

Law of Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Inspiration --- Shark in Your Tank........

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So, fishing boats got bigger and went farther.

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. So, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the
boats to go farther and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price.

So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive.

Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.

How did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan?

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies put the fish in the tanks. But, now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very “lively state."

Like the Japanese fish - "Man thrives, oddly enough, only in the presence of a challenging environment."- L. Ron Hubbard

Challenges are what keep us FRESH !